November 28, 2023


min to read

Should there be secrets in your relationship?

There's no one-size-fits-all answer for what secrets are "okay" in a relationship. In a world where we are constantly sharing our lives online yet value authenticity, it can be hard to figure out what to keep within the relationship or just to yourself. And that's where Maia comes in - think of it as your relationship GPS, helping you find your unique balance with your partner.


Defining the Terms

Privacy in a relationship is about maintaining individual boundaries and a sense of self. It's healthy and necessary. Secrecy, however, involves withholding information that could be vital or harmful to the relationship. Not cool. It’s a delicate balance – not every thought needs to be shared, but certain secrets can be detrimental.

🔍 According to research, secrecy can erode trust and intimacy -- the glue of any strong relationship. It can create an undercurrent of doubt and lead to feelings of isolation or betrayal.

Social Media and Privacy

Think about your Instagram DM or Snap streaks. Is keeping them private a matter of secrecy, or is it a healthy boundary that respects individuality? For many couples, respecting each other’s digital space can a modern-day testament to trust. But some people just aren't comfortable with that.

Past Relationships: To Share or Not to Share?

Consider your history with past relationships. Is it essential for your partner to know all the details, or is it more about what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown since then? Sharing your growth journey can be more impactful than delving into every past detail.


In an era where over-sharing online is the norm, deciding what to keep between just the two of you is crucial. It’s about sharing moments that strengthen your bond, rather than broadcasting every aspect of your relationship. While honesty is essential, it mean that you have to share every single detail. Research suggests that oversharing can sometimes be as harmful as keeping secrets.

Making the Call on Secrets

Deciding what to share can be hard. It involves weighing the impact of that information on your relationship. If a secret poses a threat to the foundation of your trust, you probably need share and air it out together, no matter how hard that conversation may be.


✅ Set your relationship boundaries

You can discuss your boundaries and expectations with Maia either in group chat together with your partner or in solo chat. Maia offers you 24/7, non-judgmental advice on how to approach these hard topics. Talk through what you want transparency from and to with your partner, versus what doesn't need to be necessarily disclosed. What counts as a secret? What counts as privacy?

✅ Building trust through communication

Trust is built through honest, open communication. Maia is designed to facilitate these conversations, to ensure that both you and your partner feel safe and heard, especially in conflict.

✅ That mediator magic

Nervous about discussing a secret you've been holding onto? Maia can help you craft the perfect message or approach the conversation in a way that softens the blow. Think of Maia as your personal conversation cushion, making those tough talks a little easier to handle.


Privacy is crucial for personal growth and maintaining a sense of individuality in a relationship. It’s about respecting each other’s need for personal space and understanding that this privacy actually enhances the connection. Respecting your partner's privacy is a pillar of healthy relationships.

Every relationship is unique, and so are the boundaries each couple sets. It’s important to have a clear understanding of what needs to be shared for the health of the relationship and what can remain private to respect individuality.

Wondering how to navigate the privacy-secrecy dynamic in your relationship? Maia is here to help. With expert-backed and guided conversations, Maia can help you and your partner find the right balance for a healthy, trusting relationship. All you have to do is ask!


Sign up to try Maia today! Relationships take work. Maia can help.

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At Maia, we're passionate about helping couples thrive. That's why we prioritize providing you with accurate, actionable, and science-backed content.

Our blog posts are grounded in the latest research on relationships, communication, and psychology. We work closely with a team of relationship experts to ensure our content reflects the most up-to-date knowledge in the field.

Our goal is to empower you with the knowledge and skills you need to create a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

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